OLD BLOG: NYC Blog 4: St. Paul’s Chapel (abridged)

November 12, 2007 

So I came here to see a concert. I did not know that this church was a sort of 9/11 memorial. It's an old colonial church near the World Trade Center site. It was used as a place to get food and rest for some of the rescue workers and since has been a memorial.
When I came inside, they were ending a service—probably a daily noon prayer-thing or whatever. Anyway, I was just sort of "hit" with this strong wave of emotion. It was quite surprising and uncomfortable. I felt sort of like I wanted to cry for no reason.
Well, there are reasons—all the anxiety lately, and then being unexpectedly confronted with a place resonating with intense emotion. I guess I need to cry. 

OLD BLOG: Tour Blog 17: the strip club (abridged)

October 16, 2007

Last night in Kokomo, Indiana—where my father was born—I went with some of my fellow tour-folk to a strip club. Mainly to be social and observe the atmosphere. That's not a metaphor for naked chicks. When I say "atmosphere" I mean the way different customers act and how un-into it the girls dancing were. Some of the cast and crew were already there celebrating our sound guy's bachelor party. He's getting married a week or so after we finish the tour.

The club was called The Hip Hugger. All the girls wore thongs that seemed a too small and cut across their hip—like the extremely unflattering style of pants. That just looks wrong. It ruins the line of their hip. And most of these girls were already lacking in the hip area and seemed butt-less and too skinny. There were only a few dancers that I liked. There was one who looked good(-ish) and had a sense of humor about what she was doing. The other wasn't necessarily the most attractive, but onstage she really moved. She was kinda wild. Neither of these 2 girls moved the way the others did—that standard, bored/boring, slow-motion thing.

Somebody (or bodies) in our group paid a girl to do that face/breast-squishing thing to me. I've never found that kind of thing exciting or interesting. It just seems stupid and childish. Later they paid the same girl—who I didn't find all that attractive: no hips or ass and just not that great-looking—to give me a lap dance. Well, I didn't want one. It's not just that I found her unappealing. I don't want some random girl rubbing on me because someone paid her to do it. The guys were all saying "Come on, Maestro!" Several people on this tour have nicknames, but I don't use them. I wasn't in on their creation, so they don't mean much to me. And the guy who started it probably always calls his music director or band leader or whatever “Maestro”.

Anyway, I gave this already-paid-for lap dance to someone else. I would've sat there the whole time thinking how I wasn't all that into it. Or instead of a lap dance I might've just talked with her. Maybe I should've done that. But honestly I'd rather sit and talk over coffee somewhere without the loud pop music. I thought maybe I should write a play or musical set in a strip club. I could interview people who worked there. That might actually be interesting. Eventually I left, had a drink that I could actually taste in my hotel room and watched TV for a while. And I have to say I basically found that at least as enjoyable as the strip club.

OLD BLOG: Question—please feel free to answer—seriously

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Why am I attracted to women who don't know who they are?
(This question brought to my attention by Greg—in a day off, drunk-ish conversation.)
(Seriously, I am asking. If you have any theories, please feel free to share them.

OLD BLOG: Tour Blog 15: make-up

October 10, 2007

I overheard one of the girls saying that sometimes she has a bad dream in which she's getting ready for a show, she doesn't have make-up, and her hair is all messed up.

Now this girl isn't the most made-up person I've ever known, but as far as I know I haven't seen the actual skin on her face, even when we have an early morning bus call. (Of course, maybe I'm too tired to pay attention to her. I often try not to pay attention to her or the other girls.) I realize that make-up is necessary for a show, so you don't look washed out. But it seems to me that she might have nightmares like that about everyday life: having to go be somewhere in public without make-up or good hair...or the right bra.

This particular girl seems to wear a pretty serious bra. It looks like it's holding things up and giving them a fuller shape. Now I haven't seen her breasts, so maybe they are shaped like that, and maybe they do sit up there on her chest like that. But I kind of doubt it. Oh yeah, and she's serious about the eye-brow shaping. I bet she would have some really beautiful, full eyebrows if she'd just leave them alone. But as things are, they look just a little too sculpted for me.

I guess what I’m saying is, this girl seems to epitomize the crazy "girls have to look a certain way" thing that our society puts out there and which I find very unappealing.

OLD BLOG: Tour Blog 14: food and recycling (abridged)

October 08, 2007

I’m developing some sense of how people who, despite their awareness that the way we live is destroying the planet on a daily basis, can just keep on living their lives the same way. It's partly convenience and habit. You can tell someone, "Hey, I'm taking bottles and cans and stuff to the recycling place. If you want to set yours aside and give them to me, I'll take them when I go." I did that this summer. And while many people comment how good it is of me to do that, they don't put anything aside to recycle. Those people may put cans, etc, in a recycling container if it's right there next to the trash can and someone else takes care of emptying it. But there are still those who won't even do that.

There was a summer theatre day camp in the same building as the actor housing. Daily, I walked by a trash can that was full and overflowing with bottles and cans from the lunches the kids brought from home. So I put a box with a sign that said “recycling” and listed what could be put in there. But there was always recyclable stuff put in the trash. And yes, I fished stuff out of the trash to recycle. It was amazing to me that people would choose to put things in the trash instead of in the recycling box. Is it laziness or ignorance or what?

I was also surprised by the amount of food and beverages that was thrown out: half-eaten sandwiches, etc; other things that weren't eaten at all. Is that how it is at every school in the country every day? How horrible and how easy to change. Do parents even know how much their kids are wasting? If schools or other programs made the kids take what they didn't eat or recycle back home for the parents to dispose of, maybe things would change a little. What if the parents had to sign a little slip that said they were aware of how much their kids were wasting? There's a neat idea. Anybody out there on a school board?

OLD BLOG: Tour Blog 10: moments to cherish

September 29, 2007

I'm in Staunton (apparently pronounced "Stanton"), Virginia. I had a bit of time to make this list. It's a list of little things I can feel good about.

—laying under a tree on a sunny day and feeling the grass under my bare feet

—finding a microwavable mug I like (for 50¢) so I can make herbal tea on the bus

—knowing that when I finish the book I'm reading I have several others with me to choose from next

—that moment after a long day when I first get into my hotel room and can take off my clothes

—having time some mornings to get enough sleep, eat, relax and let my food digest, exercise, and take a shower before I have to be on the bus

—calling someone to chat a bit and their actually answering the phone

—hearing Kim belt/mix that one high note in the "Seasons of Love" medley &/or playing through something not in this show with her singing

—seeing Greg M respond to the girls in approximately the same way I do

—seeing Desmond react when I do something unexpectedly "smooth"

—talking with Greg W about religion

—seeing that someone has actually commented on a blog of mine                      

OLD BLOG: Tour blog 3: Vanessa and the F-word (abridged)

September 19, 2007

So Vanessa, a girl in our cast, doesn't like the word "fuck". She made a point of letting everyone know, and she made a little "rule" that whenever we use that word we owe her a quarter. I don't think there's any money actually changing hands, but they referred to it from time to time ("they" being mainly the girls in the cast).

Those of you who've spent much time around me probably are aware that I don't really curse a lot. But you may also know that someone not liking something isn't necessarily a reason for me to stop doing it. It might even make me do it more. I talked to Vanessa and another girl in the cast about this. I didn't feel that they had a convincing reason for me to stop saying "fuck" around them. They thought I said it a lot. I don't, but in discussing it, I say it. I'm not one for mild euphemisms. If I were in a Harry Potter book, I'd be saying "Voldemort" out loud.

I also expressed to them my interest in seeing how people react to things sometimes. I find it interesting. And then I like to think about why different people react differently—what makes them tick. One of them suggested that doing something just to see how someone will react is childish. Well, I don't recall doing that as a child. That only came later as I started wondering about people and how they work. And I happen to think that making a "rule" that people owe you a quarter when they do something you disapprove of seems a little juvenile. Their only real argument (other than that it's not nice) was that is shows a lack of vocabulary. I disagree. Saying "fuck" sometimes doesn't necessarily mean you don't know any other words. Sometimes when I curse, it just sort of slips out. But generally it's a definite choice. It's something I use for emphasis or to get someone's attention. Or to make them feel uncomfortable.

So, fuck you. All of you. I'm fuckin' serious. 

That was a joke. And if you don't think it was funny, then fuck you.

OLD BLOG: no boobs, please

March 18, 2007

Yes, I am picky about words--finicky even. Here's a word I just don't like: boobs. And "boobies" is probably worse. I'm not too big on "tits" either. And "titties" is worse. I love breasts. Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em. But those sort of cutsie slang words just make me wince a little.
Breasts are wonderful things, big or small, even tiny almost completely flat (very sexy, by the way), as long as they're not fake. I haven't had any first-hand experience with fake breasts (at least, I'm pretty sure), but from pictures I've seen (yes, I admit it) the really obvious ones look less like breasts and more like sports equipment mounted on some sad woman's chest. Ladies, don't do it. Okay, maybe if you need a post-mastectomy reconstructive job, but otherwise leave 'em alone. You don't need big balls sitting on your chest to be attractive. And the surgery scars don't help matters either.
Anyway, back to my point: "boobs". In my head, a boob is a stupid person. So is a booby (plural: boobies). It's also a kind of bird. Think about it. Boob tube, booby prize, booby hatch (mental institute), booby trap: these are not positive things. When somebody uses this word it just sounds like something stupid. Okay yes, there may be some particularly large, but natural breasts that you might describe as floppy, which may seem a little boob-ish. But generally breasts are majestic things, to be complemented and appreciated and thought very highly of. I certainly think highly of them.
So please people--men, women, kids, especially adults: show a little respect for the breasts. Find something else to call them: something decent, noble even. I can even handle a private nickname, but not "boobs". Please.
And "fun bags" is just wrong.