March 18, 2007
Yes, I am picky about words--finicky even. Here's a word I just don't like: boobs. And "boobies" is probably worse. I'm not too big on "tits" either. And "titties" is worse. I love breasts. Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em. But those sort of cutsie slang words just make me wince a little.
Breasts are wonderful things, big or small, even tiny almost completely flat (very sexy, by the way), as long as they're not fake. I haven't had any first-hand experience with fake breasts (at least, I'm pretty sure), but from pictures I've seen (yes, I admit it) the really obvious ones look less like breasts and more like sports equipment mounted on some sad woman's chest. Ladies, don't do it. Okay, maybe if you need a post-mastectomy reconstructive job, but otherwise leave 'em alone. You don't need big balls sitting on your chest to be attractive. And the surgery scars don't help matters either.
Anyway, back to my point: "boobs". In my head, a boob is a stupid person. So is a booby (plural: boobies). It's also a kind of bird. Think about it. Boob tube, booby prize, booby hatch (mental institute), booby trap: these are not positive things. When somebody uses this word it just sounds like something stupid. Okay yes, there may be some particularly large, but natural breasts that you might describe as floppy, which may seem a little boob-ish. But generally breasts are majestic things, to be complemented and appreciated and thought very highly of. I certainly think highly of them.
So please people--men, women, kids, especially adults: show a little respect for the breasts. Find something else to call them: something decent, noble even. I can even handle a private nickname, but not "boobs". Please.
And "fun bags" is just wrong.
Breasts are wonderful things, big or small, even tiny almost completely flat (very sexy, by the way), as long as they're not fake. I haven't had any first-hand experience with fake breasts (at least, I'm pretty sure), but from pictures I've seen (yes, I admit it) the really obvious ones look less like breasts and more like sports equipment mounted on some sad woman's chest. Ladies, don't do it. Okay, maybe if you need a post-mastectomy reconstructive job, but otherwise leave 'em alone. You don't need big balls sitting on your chest to be attractive. And the surgery scars don't help matters either.
Anyway, back to my point: "boobs". In my head, a boob is a stupid person. So is a booby (plural: boobies). It's also a kind of bird. Think about it. Boob tube, booby prize, booby hatch (mental institute), booby trap: these are not positive things. When somebody uses this word it just sounds like something stupid. Okay yes, there may be some particularly large, but natural breasts that you might describe as floppy, which may seem a little boob-ish. But generally breasts are majestic things, to be complemented and appreciated and thought very highly of. I certainly think highly of them.
So please people--men, women, kids, especially adults: show a little respect for the breasts. Find something else to call them: something decent, noble even. I can even handle a private nickname, but not "boobs". Please.
And "fun bags" is just wrong.
