Blood and Sand

So, once again, I find myself awake at 4am. Why do I do this? Sometimes I get distracted by work. If I’m writing or orchestrating or whatever, I’ll sometimes notice that it’s midnight and decide to work just a little longer before I go to bed. Then suddenly it’s 2am…then 3…then 4. And at 4am I just have this sense that there’s not much point in going to bed. I’ll either not sleep much at all, or sleep until noon (or later). Basically, by that point my sleep schedule is already fucked up. I know if I sleep ‘til noon that I’ll have a hard time getting to sleep by any sort of decent hour that night. So it makes as much sense, or more, to just not really try to get a night’s sleep. That way, maybe I’ll be tired the next night and be able to sleep.

But there’s a problem with that too. It seems that once I stay up all night, I’m more likely to do it again a few nights later. And that’s what’s happening now. I stayed up all night a couple of nights ago when I was working on an older show of mine. It’s something I orchestrated on a program I don’t really use any more.

I recently bought a new computer and was transferring files from the old computer. I didn’t see much point in transferring those files for a program I no longer have, but I didn’t want to lose the work I’d done. So I downloaded a trial version of the program so I could open those files. I’d intended to just print them out and later input all the info into the program I do use: Finale. But the trial version of the other program wouldn’t let me print. It did let me save the files as MIDI versions. So I did that and opened the MIDI files in Finale, then copy and paste them into a new Finale file. It took a lot of tweaking and detail work, but I wanted to get it all done before the trial version expired (in 15 days or so).

Anyway…I stayed up all night, slept maybe half an hour that morning, then went to bed by midnight or so. But I didn’t feel fully rested. It takes a few days to catch up. Unfortunately I took a nap for a few hours tonight around 7 or 8pm.

Tonight I’ve been staying up watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand. It’s an original series on Starz. I watched it this spring instantly on the netflix, and loved it. I kept it in my instant queue, thinking I might watch it again, and I just saw that it will only be available for several more days. So I decided to watch it again.

Often if I start watching something late at night, I’ll fall asleep with it on. But this series is actually very good. I especially liked certain plot twists that happened about half-way throughout the season. I suppose this time I’m watching in anticipation of those moments, which keeps me watching and waiting for the next and next and next episode. Also it’s nice to see the various details which I’d forgotten.

If you've not seen it, and like gritty historical drama, I recommend it. It's a lot like the Rome series on HBO a few years back: violent and sexual and graphic, and well-written.

what's that smell?

I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have to move. I just moved into this apartment a couple of months ago, and I like it here, except for one thing.

These apartments each share a kitchen with a neighbor. That’s no big deal. My kitchen-mate never cooks, and I only rarely see her in there. It also shares the AC and heat, and we split the electric bill. That’s also fine. The neighbor likes it cooler than I do, but that’s okay.

The problem is that we’re breathing the same air…and she smokes. I am allergic to cigarette smoke. When I was a teen, I was sick a lot. I went to several doctors, and finally to a neurologist who diagnosed me with migraines. I had a lot of headaches and then would get sick. I missed a lot of school. So the neurologist gave me 2 medicines which really kinda made things worse. Maybe that’s another blog.

Anyway…it turns out I wasn’t really having migraines. I was just allergic to everything: dust, grass, pets, several common foods—seriously…beef, eggs, lettuce, corn—and cigarettes. I wasn’t extremely allergic to any one thing, just a little allergic to lots of things. But cigarette smoke was the thing I was most allergic to. I took shots for a while—5 a week to start. Eventually I stopped them. The food allergies aren’t that bad, and I just avoid the other stuff as much as possible.

But I can’t avoid it my neighbor smoking inside her apartment when we share the ventilation. I’ve talked to her twice about it, most recently a couple of days ago. After the first time we talked it got better for a few weeks, but then got really bad again. And after the other day’s brief talk, I smelled smoke that evening and yesterday afternoon and night and right now at 5am. A couple of times a friend, Julia, came over and mentioned the smell right away.So it's not just me being sensitive.

I told the neighbor that if she keeps smoking inside I’d have to move. I don’t want to move. I like the apartment; it’s a good location; the rent is cheap; and my stuff is already here. Finding an apartment is a pain. I should know: I’ve done it every year or 2 lately. But I just can’t live here like this. I can confront people when it’s needed, but I don’t want to be the annoying neighbor who keeps banging on the wall to get you to stop doing that annoying thing you do.

She’s been living here for 11 years, and she’s not the brightest person around. Despite her reassurance that she’s been doing and will do better, it’s not happening.

I mentioned it to the landlord about a month ago, so he’s aware that there’s an issue. Later today (after I’ve slept some) I’m going to have to call the landlord and see what he has to say. Hopefully, I can get out the lease without paying extra. . The lease does not prohibit smoking inside the apartment. There is a clause about not doing anything to “disturb, endanger, or interfere with other tenants” so maybe he’ll be cool about it.

Now’s the time to do it. It’s early-to-mid August, and there may still be some apartments available in walking distance from the university where I’m expecting to pick up a lot of accompanying work, maybe even something closer. And not too much more expensive. It’ll be a pain to move all my stuff, and I’ll have to find a bed. I’m sleeping on one the landlord bought. And frankly, I’d rather feel absolutely free to walk into my kitchen without putting any clothes on without worrying that my “neighbor” won’t see me and freak out. 

New Blog

So, I decided to start a blog. What will this blog be about, people have asked.
Well, I am a musician. I work in theatre. I write plays and musicals. I'm sure I'll blog about that stuff, but that is not the topic of this blog.
I am very liberal...politically and socially. I sometimes rant about things I see or read that just seem ridiculously wrong. I'm sure I'll blog about that stuff, but that is not the topic of this blog.
I am single, in my late 30's, and while I'm not actively looking to date right now, I am open to it. I'm sure I'll blog about that stuff, but that is not the topic of this blog.
I read books and watch movies and go to plays and musicals. I'm sure I'll blog about that stuff, but that is not the topic of this blog.
So...what will this blog be about, you may ask. Go ahead, ask. I'll wait.

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Hey, thanks for asking. This blog will be about anything and everything I think to write about. Hence the title. I thought about going with "Mister Christer's Multifarious Thoughts". Multifarious means "about everything", but it's not a commonly used word. Even a really intelligent friend of mine thought I meant nefarious ("evil"). I'm not above evil thoughts, but I figured I'd just avoid any confusion if I happen post good thoughts.

Hopefully there will be things worth writing, good and evil. But to start things off, I'm going to post some old blogs, edited and abridged. Mostly these are from MySpace. (Who's even on MySpace anymore?)

Here is the first blog I ever posted:

April 06, 2006 (MySpace) "To blog or not to blog..."

To blog, or not to blog, that is the question:
whether it's nobler on the webpage to suffer
the ignominy of appearing to have nothing to say
or to take pen (keyboard) against this single trouble
and by writing mindlessly end it.

In other words, is it better to blog about nothing or to never have blogged at all?

OLD BLOG: Bitch-Day (abridged)

Thursday, November 12, 2009 

Bitch-Day is a wonderful tradition that started on my birthday about 7 or 8 years ago. My roommate and my girlfriend were away with the school choir on an all-day mini-tour. In the little time I did see them (after midnight before we went to bed, briefly before they left for the tour and after they got back that night), I called them bitches. I watched TV all day and called the people on TV bitches. It started with me being a little angry but ended up being a lot of fun.
So I decided that on my birthday it’s totally permissible to call people bitch for no reason and with no guilt or remorse or negative consequences. I have continued the tradition, but unfortunately this year’s celebration will be limited, as I am working at a private Baptist University (a little odd considering I’m not usually very private nor am I a Baptist). Too many people there would probably be horrified by my calling them bitch. But I encourage everyone out there to celebrate for me. And if you want to celebrate your own Bitch-Day on your birthday, well I certainly encourage that as well. Spread the joy.
Happy Bitch-Day, bitches!

OLD BLOG: New Hampshire Blog # 2: damn singers

7-17-09

I just want to share part of a conversation from rehearsal today (actually, yesterday). I'm the music director, and I gave a note to one of my cast—a note I'd given once before, and a note which I had my assistant music director give one day when I wasn't there. I told her don't do it like that, do it like this.
She said: But I want to do it like that, not this.
So I said: I understand. I'm telling you to do it this way.

I don't understand why that exchange was necessary. Does anyone else?

OLD BLOG: Beach Blog 6: shell collecting

Monday, January 05, 2009

I’ve been staying at the beach the past couple of months. While here, I’ve been walking on the beach, collecting shells from time to time, and making necklaces. So I’ve made a lot of observations about shells and collecting them. These are the kind of things that one might apply to life, if one is so inclined.

— You have to go where the shells are. (This might seem obvious, but if you’re applying these observations to getting a job or meeting someone special or whatever, you have to go where jobs or people or whatever are.)

— Watch out for SUVs. (I don’t know what that has to do with life or philosophy or whatever, but it’s true. Watch out for them.)

— Wear comfortable shoes (not real deep, but also true).

— If you look back and see only one set of footprints that means there was probably a high tide recently. You can be fairly sure others have been there before you. (If you want to think it has something to do with Jesus carrying you that’s fine, but I don’t really want to get into that.)

— If you’re really serious about collecting shells, bring along some container. You’ll need it.

— You can just walk around and wait for something to sort of jump out at you. But you won’t find a lot of shells that way. You have to actively look for them.

— There are lots of shells out there. You can never collect them all. And why would you want to? Eventually you have to decide what it is that you’re looking for.

— The really nice shells you notice at first may seem much less interesting after you’ve been looking for a while.

— Sometimes there’s very little out there, sometimes a lot. You have to go looking often to get to know when the good times and bad times are likely to be. (I still don’t know. I assume it has to do with the tides.)

— You’re more likely to notice the sort of shells you’re looking for, the kind you’re focused on, assuming those kinds of shells are out there. Just having a particular kind of shell in mind helps you notice it.

— When there is an overwhelming number of shells, it’s hard to see individuals. It may seem like a lot of worthless bits of shells, but if you really get down and search, you can find some great stuff. And when you bend down to pick something up, keep your eyes open. There are often things that you wouldn’t’ve noticed if you weren’t down there close.

— If you get too focused on shells, you can miss out on all the life out there: people walking by; birds in the surf or overhead; even the sun and the waves. Life is more important than collecting shells.

— Sometimes there’s yucky stuff out there among the shells. You don’t have to pick that stuff up. You can just move on and not deal with it. (I wouldn’t recommend this for dealing with major, real-life issues. But if you’re looking for something new in your life, you don’t have to take the bad stuff. Just move on and keep looking.)

— It can take a while for the tide and other processes to get rid of something dead.

— The more beautiful and colorful and unusual a shell, the more likely it is to easily break or already be broken, or to be too small to do much with.

— Sometimes a shell looks delicate but is much sturdier than you’d think, or vice versa. You can’t really tell unless you apply some pressure to it.

— If you don’t watch your step, you might accidentally crush something wonderful that you hadn’t noticed.

— You don’t really know what you have until you clean it up and look at it in a different light.

— Sometimes you’ll see couples out there, walking along together. If they’re looking for shells they probably won’t find a lot unless they are both committed to it, and they’re looking for the same things.

— The people you see out on the beach when it’s sunny are different from the people you see when it’s overcast.

— While size does matter, bigger isn’t necessarily better.

— Very few, if any, shells are just one color.

— Some of the most interesting shells to me might be thought ugly by others.

— I suspect there’s no such thing as a “perfect” shell: completely bilaterally symmetric or with no blemishes. But that’s okay. Sometimes beauty is found in the “imperfections”. 

OLD BLOG: Xmas (abridged)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I used to find it irritating to see Christmas stuff this early. This year I was seeing stuff in mid-October. I wasn’t even thinking about Halloween yet in mid-October. I've been seeing Christmas commercials on television lately: basically Santa telling us to start buying stuff. I find the whole thing beyond irritating. It's offensive, even possibly immoral. I’m becoming less and less tolerant of commercialism in general, even before the current economic crisis.
There’s a documentary called What Would Jesus Buy? It follows this guy, Reverend Billy, and his choir on their cross country "crusade" to spread the "gospel" of not shopping. I don't think he is a real reverend but more of an activist. The way that we live, you can't really get along without buying some things. But we're not just addicted to oil in this country. We're addicted to buying stuff. Mostly stuff we don't need. There's nothing really good about buying stuff.
Why isn't someone saying, "Hey you don't have to keep buying so much crap!"? Why can't we just make corporations be more responsible: make things that aren't gonna break down and need to be replaced in a year when the warrantee expires? Make decent quality stuff we actually need, and a few nice special things for fun and whatever, but stop with all the crap. What have we as a people become, that we've let this happen?