Since this years’ Miss America Pageant wasn’t long ago, I thought I’d write something about pageants.
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I have long felt that beauty pageants should just get real, be honest about themselves, and get rid of the swimsuits. I don’t mean to get rid of that portion of the competition, but to just lose the suits. Seriously, what is the point of that, except to see what these women’s bodies look like? And my feeling is that naked would be more honest—no padding, no pushup, no tape, just what you’ve got.
I mean, come on, you can call it a “scholarship pageant” all you want, but I don’t see any “ugly” girls there in the traditional pageants. Well, that may not be totally true, but the “ugly” ones don’t get very far. For real, you don’t have to be really smart...
...nor really good at your talent.
(Ug. First, why is she singing “Memory” in Italian. And, second, are those actual Italian words? I can’t tell, and I work with opera singers all the time. Oh yeah, also please work on your technique, pitch, and lose the arm stuff. Okay, just had to get that out.)
It’s mostly about being skinny and matching certain “ideals” of beauty, ideals which I often find unattractive.
I have known several women who did pageants, who have varying opinions.
There’s one woman who said that “being in front of thousands of people in a bikini is liberating.”
A singer I knew, who was in a local qualifying pageant, thought it would be classier to have a live accompanist for her talent than to sing with an accompaniment track. So she asked me to play for her. Well, those girls all seemed nice onstage, but backstage there were a few catty bitches.
Anyway, my friend wasn’t really comfortable with the swimsuit part. Her comment about it was that she felt like a “piece of meat” and that she needed to “work her ass off” every day to feel in shape enough.
There’s another woman I know, who, when I found out about her pageant participation, I looked her up. When I saw her pageant pics, I thought she was SO much more attractive now. Less makeup, less severe-looking...more like a beautiful human woman. Here’s what she wrote to me about pageants:
“It hurts to be beautiful”....literally!
Referencing: eyebrow waxing, bikini wax, weight loss, heels heels and high heels, skin care, hair care, exercising, meal planning, talent coaching for some, interview coaching, finances for wardrobe, and more! Well, it comes with the territory!
So, I guess my point is that I find the “beauty” in beauty pageants to be often unappealing or misleading.
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And that if you’re really trying to judge these women’s beauty—and don’t pretend that you’re not—then have them appear in a more natural state, an “au naturel“ state. While you’re at it, bring in some women with real curves, not just the scary-skinny, six-packed bitches. Encourage them all to be the size they’re meant to be instead of fighting and struggling and working to fit some Barbie-doll mold.
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One former pageant participant wrote to me that “No one really is out there but gay men anyway,” but to that I would add that there are also former Barbie-doll molds/pageant participants (formerly skinny bitches). Also, perhaps most distressingly, there are friends and family who are fully supporting this behavior, this culture of celebrating “beauty”—painted on, fake smile, starving and over-coached, sparkly-dressed, approval-craving women desperately trying to look like this bizarre epitome of “beauty”.
(Yes, I realize my point may not be clear. It often isn’t. I’m not really an essayist. And my general ranting about the typical look of pageant contestant is probably getting in the way of my point that they should be naked instead of wearing swimsuits and tape.)
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