Inspired by my friend (or former friend? well, facebook “friend” anyway [old friend...that's what she told me she prefers]) Karen Faith, who this morning posted a facebook status reminding people to get their birthday presents to her in the mail, I’d just like to say this about my upcoming birthday: I will be removing my birthdate from the facebook sometime before the big day. Having it listed there on everyone’s home page makes it so easy for people to see it, think “oh a birthday...I must send birthday greetings”, post a little comment, and not think about the person again.
I just don’t want tons of birthday greetings posted on my wall. I will feel compelled to read them, just to see if any are worth responding to. And based on past years, I assume most won't be. It’s not that I think those kind of greetings are insincere, but to me they just feel shallow. I mean, most of my facebook “friends” are acquaintances, people I did a show or two with, or whose lessons I accompanied years ago, or maybe attended high school with over 20 years ago. They're not that close to me really. In fact, I recently un-friended about 80 people, and could probably un-friend another 80 without their even noticing. My point being, they're mostly not really friends of mine.
On most of my birthdays as an adult I was in rehearsal or doing a show or accompanying classes or lessons or whatever it is that I was doing every other day at that point in my life. The only difference is that people told me or wrote to me “happy birthday” or some other comment. My least favorite birthday greeting is anything to do with my “special day”, for the obvious reason that IT’S NOT A SPECIAL DAY! For me, the simple knowledge that it’s the anniversary of my birth doesn’t make it special. I’m not at all opposed to it’s being special, but unless somebody makes a significant effort it’s not gonna be: a party, or a great dinner or drinks with a few actual friends, or a nice date with someone I like (maybe a little sumpin' sumpin'?). And I’m just not really comfortable throwing myself a party. At this point, I fear the turn-out would be so low that I’d feel even worse.
So I go around, doing whatever, on my birthday, acutely aware of the lack of “specialness”, and hearing or reading all these birthday wishes just makes it feel worse. I realize that’s not a normal reaction, but that’s how I feel. (Yes, I’m a crazy person...okay, maybe not crazy, but I know that my feelings about and reactions to many things are atypical.) If you want me to have a special day, then do something to actually make it special, and I don’t mean to post “happy birthday, Chris” on my facebook wall.
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