Unfriends (2)

So I lost a couple more friends on the facebook not long ago. I know who it was: a few students I’d played for this past year. I don’t know if they unfriended me because of this blog, or if it was more of a spring (summer) cleaning, a general unfriending, as I won’t be around to play for them or even to say hi occasionally this coming school year.

The rate of my facebook unfriending has certainly slowed significantly. The first few months after I started this blog (and started posting it on the facebook) it was considerably more than a trickle. But not lately. And I actually sort of miss it. It’s almost like if I’m not offending somebody I must be doing it wrong.

Now, this blog isn’t intended to offend. But, just like I don’t try to flash people, yet I don’t mind if people happen to see me naked, I’m not actively trying to offend people, yet I don’t have a problem with it if someone is offended.

In fact, maybe people need to be offended sometimes. Certainly if it gets them to think then it’s probably a good thing. Although, I suspect most people who get offended just sort of shut down any analytical part of their brain and just ignore or go into rant/talking-point mode.

So...feel free to be offended. 

Fun at airports (1)

Okay, I don’t know why this is news. But... 

A few weeks ago this guy was stopped and frisked by a TSA (Transportation Security Administration—part of the Dept. Of Homeland Security—you know, airport security) employee. (Or are they TSA agents? That sounds more sinister. Anyway...) 

That’s clearly not news. But, this guy was Jonah Falcon. 

Jonah holds the world record for having the longest penis. It’s not in the Guinness Book of World Records because they supposedly don’t record such things. 

(Do they actually still publish a book?) 

Well, he was stopped and frisked at San Francisco International Airport due to the suspicious bulge in his pants. His “suspicious bulge” is supposedly around 9 inches or 23 cm when flaccid and 13.5 inches or 34 cm when erect. 

It’s hard (no pun intended) to find decent pictures of Jonah’s penis online. But here’s are some: 

Supposedly him. This one was from
some random penis thread, so who knows?

Of course, he’s had offers to do porn, but he has so far declined. And obviously there are people who’d pay to see his penis. But apparently he just doesn’t do many naked pics. I guess he did a few when he was younger. 

He probably wants to be known as more than just “the guy with the biggest dick”. 

I can totally appreciate that. ‘Cause I too don’t want to be known just as “the guy with a huge penis”. 

Oh wait...I’m not. 

Ah, right. I don’t want to be known as just “the naked blog guy”. 

Here’s the Huffington Post article which alerted me to this guy and this story:

Huffingtonpost.com

That, by the way, led me to another article that contained a slideshow of “naked crime”—people who were arrested while naked, or in at least one case, for being naked in his yard. But it pissed me off that this was paired with a slideshow of “Potty Issues”—crimes having something to do with a person urinating or defecating or farting or having drugs in one’s ass. It bothers me that they’d make that connection, like somehow being naked is like taking a shit. 

"impressive"

So, lately I’ve had several people, in commenting to me about the blog, use the word “impressive”. And in conversing either they explicitly said or I got the distinct impression that they were talking about the size of my penis. There’ve been others in the last several months who said the same thing.

Honestly, I just don’t get it. I’ve never thought of myself as physically impressive. Not my penis or any other part of me.

I’m certainly not tall. If I’m in a room full of men, chances are most of them are taller than me or at least the same height. I’m probably on the lower end of “normal” or average. I think average U.S. male height is about 5’9” or so. I’m 5’7”(ish) barefoot.

Average U.S. male weight is about 190 lbs. I’m maybe 150-something. I don’t have a scale at home.

So I’m not tiny, but I’m smaller guy.

Interestingly, women who are larger may have this whole body image problem arise from society’s teaching them that women are supposed to look a certain way, be a certain size. Well, I think men who are smaller have a similar problem—especially as adolescents—in that society also teaches that men are supposed to be big and strong and muscular.

Anyway...I’m also on the smaller end of average in penis size. While I haven’t spent tons of time in locker rooms or communal showers, and I’ve never been to a nudist resort or beach, I’ve seen a few penises in real life. And there are tons of them online. The average penis size is something 5-6 inches erect (3.5 inches when flaccid). I am... small but “normal”. (I suppose if you really want to know those measurements, you can ask.)

So, what is the deal with these people all finding my penis “impressive”? If you look at all at porn with penises (i.e., not just nude women) you’ll find much larger and thicker penises than mine.

I’m not upset about it—my penis size. It’s fine. It is what it is. I’m much more concerned that eventually my penis won’t “work” as well or at all. You know, sexually. And that I have wasted and continue to waste many of the good years not using it...at least not with anyone else.

(Sigh.) Oh well.

Actually, I rather like my penis—the way it looks.

I have a friend who, when I asked for feedback on my blog, said that I have a nice penis. It wasn’t what I was expecting or even the sort of feedback I was looking for, but it was great to hear. Of course, I’m used to the way it looks, as I’ve lived with it all my life. But I’ve seen some unattractive penises out there in porn-land: scary, aggressive-looking or oddly shaped penises. Maybe that’ll be a blog entry sometime: different penis “personalities”.

I have posted some pictures on the blog where I’m (yes, I’ll say it) erect. Hopefully, those aren’t too porn-ish. I don’t want this blog to be porn-ish. I don’t really have a problem with (most) porn. But that’s not what I’m doing.

There was a recent entry which was mostly erect or semi-erect penis pics. I assume that entry prompted the recent “impressive” comments. Now, I haven’t spent a ton of time with penises other than my own and certainly not erect ones, so I don’t know what my viewers are comparing me to. But when I look at those pictures I see a penis which isn’t really that big. I can’t help but wonder if maybe it’s the lighting or the angle or a background/foreground issue that makes these folks (or you folks, if you’re one of them) have that impression. OR, maybe they (you) are focusing mostly on just the penis and not really picking up on size/scale clues.

Perhaps they want to say something, but don’t know what to say. They want to be complimentary, say something nice because they like the blog. But they’re just not accustomed to having a conversation about someone being naked. How often do most people have conversations about being naked?

(If you’re one of the folks I’m talking about, feel free to chime in. Or if you’re not, feel free as well.)

Maybe there’s some other psychological thing involved. Perhaps the fact that these people at least sort of know me makes it more shocking to see these pictures of me naked than it would to see a stranger.

Wow! I know him! And he’s naked! There’s his penis...and it’s still there. Yep, right out in the open. Not hidden or obscured. Oh! And there’s a picture that’s just his penis... Penis. Penis! PENIS! AAAAHHH!

So maybe the psychological impact is greater because they (you) know me. And the penis seems bigger in the brain than on the page (or in real life).

The way we perceive external stimuli can be greatly influenced by stuff going on inside our head. There may be things we thought we saw or heard, etc, but which didn’t actually happen that way. And there may be things that we saw, heard, experienced, whatever, but which for various reasons we are unable to handle; so our brains put it elsewhere and we don’t remember. Or, there may even be a situation where we experience something so far out of our point of reference—something that seems impossible to our brain—that it either doesn’t exist for us or we turn it into something else that makes sense.

So if those things can happen, then I, having studied psychology (some), am inclined to believe that something psychological is happening when someone views my blog and thinks my penis is “impressive”. 

Th’giving

Last night I saw somebody’s facebook status about how she likes to occasionally make a list of 50 things she’s thankful for and then compare to see how it changes, and that it makes her feel good. Lots of people are posting today about thankfulness. Is anybody on the facebook NOT posting something about Thanksgiving?

I’m not really a big holiday person. And, to be honest, I’m generally dissatisfied in life these days. So, the thankfulness thing is really hard for me to get into. I’m not sure if I could come up with 50 things. But I thought I’d at least give it a try. Not 50 things, but a list. So, what am I thankful for?

—I’m not starving, or totally broke...yet. Of course I’m not working nearly enough, which kinda sucks. There just seems to be too many people around here who do what I do. I don’t know how good they all are, but I suspect the people doing the hiring may not necessarily be able to tell the difference between adequate and good. I am working a little. I’m thinking I may look elsewhere & move next year.

—Up until this point, I’ve been able to make a living doing what I want to do. Unfortunately, I’ve mostly not been able to do it at the level I really want, but I have sometimes been able to work with people who were really awesome and done some work that I was really happy with. And of course, there’s all the other work that doesn’t quite fit into that category.

—I live somewhere that I can indulge my clothing-optional lifestyle. I don’t feel oppressed about it. I mean, I’ve lost “friends” and, maybe I’m wrong here, but some other people seem to be avoiding/ignoring me. I’d much rather people engage than avoid, but at least I’m not being oppressed. And I haven’t been arrested or anything yet.

—I’m not in great shape, but I’m alright. I’m not sickly or anything. There was something wrong with my knee this summer, but they didn’t have to do surgery or anything. It still gives me problems a little, but I’m thankful it’s not worse.

—Along those line, my penis still works. I mean, I’m not 20 anymore, but with a little work...

Tripdytch

Yep, still works, despite not having anyone to “work it” with.

—Well, that leads me to this: most people around here are gone for a few days, so I felt pretty comfortable taking some pics outside yesterday and today—a little more than I might normally. I’ll post those a bit later, as I’m hoping to take a couple more.

I’m sure there must be other stuff. I’ll think on it later. But as you can see, I have a hard time being thankful without a “however”...unconditional gratitude is hard. 

I wonder if other (“normal”) people feel the way I do, but they just don't vocalize it. Of course, I do. I’m not one to refrain from saying what I think or feel.

...

Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving...what else to say about Thanksgiving?

Well, there will be little or no “dressing” at my place today. Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha! I’m hilarious.But, yeah, I'm "celebrating" a naked Thanksgiving. I mean, I'm not really celebrating in any special way. But I'm naked. No big surprise.

Okay, what else?

Oh. There’s this strangeness:

Turkey-woman

It’s kind of funny, but also rather disturbing. I mean, the implication is that the woman is a thing to be consumed. Also there’s the whole bondage thing. I mean, this looks like serious bondage, which I’m not super-keen on.

...

Well, I’m not coming up with much else. So, I’ll go back to just hanging out on “Turkey Day”.

Naked woman in horse

A friend of mine posted this on my facebook wall, thinking I might be interested. I was.

Seattle Weekly article ...with pictures

An “aspiring model” (she has a profile on some modeling site) in Portland, Oregon, along with a friend, bought an old horse, killed it, gutted and skinned it, and took some pictures of her inside the carcass. Later they ate the horse.

Okay, so you may think, "Ew." Yeah, I thought that too, but mostly I thought it’s just odd. The police investigated, but it seems that no laws were broken. She posted the pics online, and then claimed to have “no idea why people care.” Apparently she wanted to “be one with the animal” and was inspired by Star Wars.

Yay, Star Wars! But I don't think she's a huge fan or anything.
I think, as she is an “aspiring model”, (her model profile) that she’s just hoping to jumpstart her modeling career.

Well, of course, lots of people are outraged. The comments on the article fall into the 3 typical categories of comments on anything surprising &/or unusual:

1. This is sick and twisted; we hate her; she’s a horrible, horrible person OR she so ca-ra-zee.
2. What about all the other animals that are routinely slaughtered for us to eat? (This response on some other topic could be “what about all the starving people...the uninsured...victims of abuse...global warming...whatever”.)
3. OMG, she’s HOT, I wanna hit dat.

Comments on others people’s comments also fall into those same categories, with one additional group: your so dum sombody should get rid of you to; often followed by another comment pointing out the ironic misspellings, lack of punctuation and other grammatical errors. Yes, poor writing bothers me, and I occasional stifle my own grammar-nazi impulse. Because just calling someone stupid or pointing out grammar issues does not really add anything truly useful to the discussion. 

Probably my favorite comment, one which I might’ve made if I were paying more attention when I first skimmed though the article, was to point out a mistake in the Star Wars reference.

"I am so disgusted! This article is SO WRONG!
Han Solo did not use HIS light saber.  He used Luke's.  Get your story straight!"

Sci-fi nerds are hilarious, and yes, I mean me too.

“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hm?”

The Vagina Monologues

I support being against violence toward women. (That's an awkward phrase.) 

I’ve read The Vagina Monologues and seen a production. Maybe two? I think so. Well, I think one of them was a reading. It’s an interesting piece.

But I ask this: why no “Penis Monologues”? “My penis is like...some phallic object...” Or better yet, “My cucumber is like a penis..."

My screwdriver is like a penis..."

My TV remote...?”

Why no “Penis Monologues”? Because every other play being done is about dead white men and their penises.

...okay, maybe not.

What do men have to say about their penises? I’m not sure. Men? Chime in.

As for me, my penis is like...a penis.

(Yes, a rare moment: another penis on my penis-blog. Ya know, 

it’s not easy to find a decent picture of a normal, non-erect penis.)

Anyway, guys talking about penises would probably deteriorate into a list of “dick-names”. (Yeah, I kinda made that up, but feel free to use it.)

Reminds me of a suggestion that someone made that I write a “schlong song”. I replied that the idea strikes me as a bit more vulgar than something I’d do. She said I could probably make it something clever, but nah...it’s just not me. Again, it seems like it would end up as a list of penis names. You know, dick, cock, peter, willy...that sort of thing. Who’d want to wade through that?

(If you want to wade through that... here’s a list... ‘cause mine’s not that long. ¡Ha, a penis joke!)

I’m just not much on using creative or funny names for the penis. I typically say “penis”. Similarly, I typically say “breasts”. In fact, while I love breasts, I don’t much care for “tits” and even less for “boobs”. They both sound like a stupid person. (Probably because both words can also mean a stupid person.) Granted, some breasts may seem kind of dumb, but I don’t really want to use those terms for breasts in general. And to make them cuter or whatever by adding “-ies” is worse still. I don’t actually talk a lot about vaginas. I'm not sure why. It just doesn't come up much. So, I’m not quite sure what word I use. It depends on the context, I guess.

Well...back the whole vagina/penis monologues thing.

Since The Vagina Monologues is generally seen as a piece dealing with female empowerment and often specifically dealing with rape, incest, and violence against women...

...to actually write a “Penis Monologues” seems a little anti-The Vagina Monologues. Of course, it wouldn’t have to be, but the concept itself might be offensive to many feminists. I imagine the idea that men would need “empowerment” is foreign to most folk.

But I think that “male empowerment” is something worth exploring. I was chatting with someone not long after starting this blog, and I mentioned my feeling that male nudity or male sexuality should be explored. Whoever I was chatting with suggested that it has been, but I don’t feel that way. Maybe the stereotypical, aggressive, macho, male sexuality has been explored plenty. But that’s certainly not me.

I can't imagine exploring my "maleness" by going out in the woods, sitting around a fire, and grunting, yelling & banging sticks on the ground. Sitting around a fire having a conversation? Absolutely. But no sticks. And no grunting.

Okay...what is my point? (I often loose track of my point, don't I?) I guess my point is: I’m a male; I have a penis; I am a sexual being; and I have feelings about all that. As much as I’d like to think I’m open and articulate (or at least willing to write about stuff), I’m not always sure what my feelings are about all this stuff.