"Sorry, but..."

Somebody made this comment this morning on a post by a friend of mine.

Now, I don’t really feel like starting a fight with someone I don’t know on my friend’s facebook post, but I feel compelled to comment on this.

So...

Dear stranger,
If you think that the thing you’re about to say (or type) may be a sexist (or racist or whatever) comment, and you feel the need to say “Sorry, but...” maybe you just shouldn’t make that comment? If you recognize that this might be offensive &/or demeaning to a large group of people, how about this: perhaps you might stop and ask yourself why you feel compelled to make the comment. Saying, “Sorry, but...blah-blah-blah...offensive thing,” doesn’t negate the offensive thing, nor absolve you of the offense. It just fools you into thinking you’re somehow a better person for recognizing your sexism (etc.) before indulging it. I’m not so sure that makes you a better person. In fact, it might make a worse person. I just don’t know.

I’m sure that I am similarly guilty of the same, “Sorry, but...” behavior. And perhaps this was just an innocent compliment. But then why the need to preface an innocent compliment with an apology? And while I don’t disagree with your comment, her attractiveness has nothing to do with the original post. If this were a post asking, “Hey, facebook friends, how does this outfit look on me?” then by all means, comment on how she looks. But this was not that post.

So, in review, if you know that you’re about to be offensive, maybe don’t. Instead perhaps spend some time working on yourself.

Okay, rant over. (For now.)

Female Protagonist in Star Wars Trailer

“Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” 

When I watched this trailer, my honest reaction was something like, “Cool! I’m much more interested in this Star Wars movie based on the trailer than ‘The Force Awakens’.” 

But, apparently, the biggest reaction according to the internet is that a bunch of dudes are complaining about “another” female lead. 

. . . Some ‘Star Wars’ Bros Are Freaking Out 

I don’t get it, guys. I never had the thought, “Oh, no! Here’s a character who doesn’t have all the same body parts that I do.” Is that really a problem for you? “The Force Awakens” was not a movie about women taking power and how men suck. There was that hand-holding bit, but that’s about it. And I see nothing in the trailer to suggest that “Rogue One” is going to be about women taking power and how men suck. What I see is a scruffy, Han Solo-type who happens to be a women and who is surrounded by mostly men. 

Oh yeah, and there’s a scene with Mon Mothma. (Given the nature of her character, I’d be surprised if she plays a large role with a lot of screen time.)

I cannot help but think the only reason for this kind of “Damn it, not another female lead, enough already” reaction is that these guys with these thoughts see these characters as females and not as people. Or maybe as females first, and then hot or not hot, etc., then somewhere down the line as people. 

Guys, seriously, women are people. Just like Blacks and Jews and Little People and Albinos and Albanians and Soylent Green. Sorry, that list got a little ridiculous and probably undercuts the seriousness of this point. 

Guys, women are people, just like you. And there’s no reason that they can’t or shouldn’t be the hero or the protagonist or the leader or anything that you could be. Go meet some women – not just women who you’re hoping will have sex with you – and have conversations with them. Listen to them, and consider the words and ideas they are communicating for their own value. Evaluate their abilities and their actions, and then judge them as a human person. Do a lot of that, and then, go back and watch that “Rogue One” trailer again. And then apologize for your harmful, sexist comments.