naked history

Caveman:

Ancient Greece:

The Renaissance:

The 70s:

Okay, this actually MY naked history.

(not me)

Yes, I was a baby. I must’ve been born naked, but I don’t remember it. I don’t recall my younger siblings just running around naked when they were babies, so I kinda doubt that I did it. Or, rather, I doubt that my parents would’ve let me.

(also not me)

I certainly didn’t grow up naked. I remember once catching a glimpse of my mom changing when I was a boy, and I think only once I saw my dad’s penis in a changing room at the beach.

In college...

(not my dorm, yet not unlike my dorm room)

...I had a roommate who slept nude, but when he jumped out of bed, he did what I called “the pillow dance”. He had a little throw pillow, like you’d see on a couch, which he held in front of his penis, or his backside if that was facing me. I always kind of thought that was silly. I mean, I didn’t have any real desire to see his penis, but it certainly wouldn’t’ve offended me if I had.

Later, when I had another roommate, I came home from school one winter night—I bicycled to & from school most of that year; I was usually hot & tired when I got home, and the first thing I would do was take some of my clothes off—and went in my bedroom and took off one layer of clothes. I came out of my room, got something from the kitchen or went to the bathroom (whatever), then went back in my room & took off another layer. It was winter: several layers. Well, my roommate said something to the effect of “Are you gonna keep coming out of there wearing less & less? How far are you going with this?” 

Well, he was being kinda funny, so I kinda went along with it, to be funny myself. I kept going in and figuring out what I could wear that showed more. I got all the way down to the skimpiest underwear I had at the time. The roommate said something like “You can’t go much further.” And I said something like, “I guess, I’ll go put on something more formal.” So I went in the room & came out again wearing only a (long) necktie. My roommate thought that was pretty hilarious.

(this is not the same tie)

After college, I got my own place—no roommates—and I was naked in there, pretty-much all the time. Nobody came over much. There was one girl who came over a few times, and I wore almost nothing when she was there, but I guess I just wasn’t brave enough yet. Or maybe I wasn’t so secure yet in the idea that being naked in front of someone doesn’t necessarily have to be about sex.

(this is clearly a drawing or something...again, not me)

Eventually, I went through a stage of flashing some of my friends. For me, the most interesting thing about that was the different reactions people would have. There were 3 basic reactions:

1. Oh-my-god-I-don’t-wanna-see that-oh-my-god.

(I do not know this person.)

2. I’m-looking at your face...I’m-looking at your face...You do see me looking at your face, right?

(Nor this one.)

3. Hey, he’s naked. That’s funny.

(Nope, not her either.)

A little later, I had a roommate who saw me naked all the time. Eventually he decided it was okay to go naked to, but only around me. Where we lived, lots of people we knew would just stop by, so many of them happened to see me naked. A few of them actually hung out there while I was naked.

(ME!)

I also got interested in massage around then. I found that I would rather have a friend give me a massage (or vice versa) than to go pay someone who doesn’t know me to give me a massage. A lot of people think that’s weird, and most of my friends weren’t interested in a massage-swap.

(I wish this were me right now.)

That was a little off point. Anyway...

These days I live alone in a tiny apartment. When it’s warm enough, I don’t wear anything. Honestly, I really don’t mind if people know. In fact, I’d rather everyone did. However, I’ve learned enough to know that there are lots of folk who would be horrified or embarrassed or mad to see me naked, or perhaps even to know I was naked. That’s sad.

(Uh-uh. Don't know him.)

Well, this is a long blog. Hope it was worth it.