I dreamed a dream...

I dreamed last night I was on the boat to heaven,

and by some chance I had brought my dice along.

And there I stood, and I hollered, “Someone fade me.”

But the passengers, they knew right from wrong.

I don’t often remember my dreams. But last night I had a dream that I sort of remember. Or, at least, I remember part of it.

I ran into a girl I know on the street somewhere. It may’ve been New York City; I’m not sure. And we were talking a bit, or trying to talk. Then something happened: she had to leave, or maybe she was scared off, because a couple of cars and a bunch of people pulled up and stopped on the sidewalk where we had been standing and talking. Then she was gone. The dream continued, but that part is even less clear. I don’t remember who those other people were or what happened. But this girl was quite clear.

So, about this girl.

We met about a year ago, doing a show. But we haven’t really talked for a while. Back not long after we met we did talk a bit. I thought she was interesting and appealingly open in her conversation. I really liked that. I feel that most people are closed off in many ways, but this girl seemed willing to talk about anything.

But then she stopped talking to me. It felt a little awkward, and then she left town for a bit, saying we’d keep in touch and hang out some time when she came back. I doubted that.

I was correct. We didn’t keep in touch, nor did we hang out when she came back. A few months ago, I wrote her and asked about it, but she didn’t want to talk about it.

That made me sad.

It seemed like the end of any sort of possible friendship. I’m not one who can pretend that a problem doesn’t exist, when clearly it does. And if I never deal with a problem, then I can’t get over that. It doesn’t just go away.

I could be wrong, but I believe she thought she needed to stop talking to me for one of two reasons: one, she’d given me too much sensitive information and thought I might reveal it to people; or two, and I suspect this is more likely, she thought I was interested in her.

I did find her attractive, and I found her openness very appealing. But she’s probably too young for me, which in itself might have been enough to keep me from pursuing her. She also has a boyfriend, and that is definitely enough. That’s one of the things she talked to me about—her boyfriend, their relationship. Like every couple, they had some little issues. But their relationship seemed stable. I might be willing to pursue someone in an unhappy relationship, but that didn’t seem to be the case with them. Also, I know her boyfriend. We were working together on a project. And it would’ve been awkward for me to try to get with her while working with him, even if they’d broken up or something.

So, anyway...

I don’t always give a lot of weight to dreams. I don’t always try to read into them significance for my life. But, this dream makes me wonder if I should try talking to her again, maybe try to rekindle our formerly budding friendship. I don’t have all that many close friends. I think perhaps I require people who are open and honest and willing to talk about stuff. And, honestly, my not talking to her makes me reluctant to get to know her boyfriend better. You know, they’re separate people, but they are sort of a unit.

Well, I’ll think on this a little today.

For the people all said, “Sit down, sit down, you’re rockin’ the boat.”

Yes, it might rock the boat too much if I try to talk to her. But right now, she and I aren’t friends. Not really. Maybe there’s a chance we could be friends again if we did talk about this.