meh…

I’ve been feeling mostly “blah…” or “bleh…” or “blech…” or “meh…” lately. They’re all very similar.

I know I am not fat, but I feel fatter than I want to be. I feel thick, not fat. I feel lethargic. I want to get up, move about, do something. But I’m having trouble with motivation.

Last month I was exercising. That was good for the first few weeks. But then I started feeling a little sickly and “bleh…”, and the exercise didn’t really help that. It felt more like an obligation. I don’t have a goal with the exercise. I just want to feel better. Maybe a goal would help.

I want to get out of my apartment and do things, but I have nothing to do and no one to do anything with. Apparently, I’m a horribly boring person.

(OR…maybe it’s that I’m always “a dick or disgusting”. That’s what someone recently posted on my facebook. I was not aware of this dick/disgusting quality. Sarcastic, snarky…absolutely. But to me, that’s not the same as being a dick. And “disgusting”? I just don’t’ see it. Anyway…)

I just sit around here most of the time on my little couch (loveseat actually, but there’s no love going so “little couch” it is) watching netflix or youtube or whatever and feeling…meh…