Hi, Mom

I’ve been “sharing” these blog posts on the facebook with most of my friends. But I’ve been not sharing with a fair number of people...including my relatives, most anyone who knows them, anyone that’s a minor, and anyone I’m currently working with. Mostly that last group is to avoid awkwardness.

A few people have posted comments pertaining to this blog on my facebook page. When they do, one of my first thoughts has been “Who can see this?” I think the answer is “friends and friends of friends”...which includes all those people I’m not sharing. The thing is, I wouldn’t care if they saw this blog, but they would care.

Minors... I don’t really need to explain that, right?

People I work with.... Well, I work in a generally liberal environment, but there are some who aren’t so free-minded.

Relatives... I don’t think my siblings and other relatives would care all that much, but you never know. They might think it fun to tell my parents.

My mom would use that same tone of voice she has when we talk about religion. That tone that’s full of disappointment and tinged with shock. My dad’s generally quiet, but he’d probably be on the same page as mom. I used to think that she was in charge and he didn’t make a lot of decisions or care much...until he surprised me a few times by actually saying what he thought.

It’s not as if this blog is hidden. It’s pretty easy to access. If there were somebody trying to find info on me, I suppose they could find this blog easily enough. So, while this blog has been a sort of “coming out”, it’s been only mostly public. And I suppose I may have to “come out” some time to my family about being naked.

A few years back, I asked my mom what her reaction would be if one of her kids were gay. My parents have dealt with various issues with us kids, but that’s not one of them. She surprised me a little. I’m not sure exactly what I expected, but what she said was that of course she would love them, although she wouldn’t wish that life on anyone, as it’s full of difficulty. It’s very much like her attitude about mixed race relationships...her main concern is that the children would have difficulty.

Of course, the main difficulties come from other people, society’s disapproval, etc.

Anyway, I imagine mom’s reaction in this case—my being naked and being naked online— would be more like her attitude toward my lack of faith: don’t I want to do the right thing? (She would put it that way.) & wouldn’t I be happier if I just played along with everyone else? (She wouldn’t put it that way.)

Maybe I’m wrong, and maybe I’ll find out sooner or later. Mostly it’s just another issue in my general difference with my family.