The Neighbor's Friend

This was yesterday:

posted on the facebook at 2:19pm

Dear neighbor and neighbor's friend with the distinctive & annoying voice:
If you're consenting adults, capable of making responsible adult decisions, then I don't really care what you do, as long as no one is getting hurt.
But(!) whatever is going on that elicits the loud "Oooowwww" response that I keep hearing while I'm in the adjoining kitchen, or even further away in my living room...does it really need to be happening? It's not a cute, sexy "ow...stop (giggle)". It's a loud painful "Ow" that happens frequently. Also, there's the "I know you can hear me" refrain from outside that oft accompanies ongoing knocking and assorted child-like whining.
Stop it.

2:22pm

On the plus side, it has been a little while since the last time I heard all this. I guess those flowers that the annoying-voiced friend left outside the door must've worked...for now.

5:28pm

Ug...the whining again... The neighbor's friend sounds like a child. It's so annoying.

This is today:

Dear Neighbor's Friend (same neighbor, same friend):

Why do you have to yell? Why did you have to yell at 8am? Some people (i.e., me) we not up yet. I was in my bed, which is in the furthest corner away from wherever you were inside or more likely outside at the door to my neighbor's apartment.

And, being basically deaf in one ear, I was sleeping on my good ear. Still I heard your chainsaw voice cutting through the walls, yelling. I don't always understand the words, but the tone & the cadence are unmistakably you wanting something and being denied and yelling to get it.

And just at the moment when I couldn't take it anymore, and had actually gotten out of bed to go say something, you stopped. My guess is that the neighbor couldn't take it anymore either, and she said something to you. So I got back in bed and stewed a minute before I started to relax.

And then came the whining. The childlike whining. Followed by crying. There usually isn’t crying, not that I hear. Maybe there’s usually whimpering or sniffling or something that’s too soft to carry through the walls. But this was not soft. This was “Whäääääää-häää-häääää-hääää!”

Yeah, those were umlauts. I wasn’t sure how to spell the sound she was making with normal English vowels. Just imagine a child crying in a way to be sure he or she knows you can hear it...crying for you to hear it and do something about it. I’m convinced that’s what this sound was.

Must this continue? Please say it mustn't.

So, I’m not exactly sure what the deal is with my neighbor. She’s odd. She’s not retarded. But—and this was never a real area of interest for me when I studied psychology in college—I would guess that she’s on the low end of normal intelligence. She lives by herself; she can feed & clothe herself, and interact with people with no problem. She doesn’t drive, but she’s got people who will drive her places when she needs it. I’ve never had a lengthy conversation with her, but I’ve hear parts of conversations she’s had with people on a (rather loud) speaker phone (so I know she wasn’t talking to herself).

But she has referred to going to “group”. I can only assume that’s group therapy, as it came in the same chat as her mentioning she has borderline personality disorder and “they” think maybe some other issues. I would assume that she’s not only in group, but also individual therapy. Again, this wasn’t a big interest for me, but the only thing I really remember from college about borderline personality disorder is that there wasn’t a single distinctive trait that I could latch onto as the major characteristic, the way you can with bipolar or obsessive-compulsive or paranoid disorders, etc. If anybody reading this knows more about it, feel free to chime in.

Anyway, I think the neighbor’s friend may also be in “group” with her. She said something once about going to the funeral of the mother of her friend from group. And I thought she meant this annoying –voiced friend. This friend is rather short and round, and has a slightly “mongoloid” appearance like someone with down syndrome. But whatever her situation is, she seems highly functional. Well, except for the child-like behavior: the yelling and banging on the door and whining and crying. I’m sure there are “normal” adults who do some or all of those things at times, but this woman truly sounds like a child when she does it. I’ve seen her. She’s not a child. I’m not so great with guessing people’s ages, but I would say she’s 50 or older...or perhaps a very rough 40.

As annoyed as I get, I don’t want to just open the door and tell her to shut the fuck up and act like a grown-up. Because she may not be capable of acting like a grown-up. This is the same “friend” of my neighbor who, this past summer, had an ambulance come for her, and then the police were called to take her away a few days later. I’m not even really friends with the neighbor. So, I don’t want to get involved with whatever their relationship is. Yes, my life is boring, but I don’t think that’s the sort of excitement I need.