"impressive"

So, lately I’ve had several people, in commenting to me about the blog, use the word “impressive”. And in conversing either they explicitly said or I got the distinct impression that they were talking about the size of my penis. There’ve been others in the last several months who said the same thing.

Honestly, I just don’t get it. I’ve never thought of myself as physically impressive. Not my penis or any other part of me.

I’m certainly not tall. If I’m in a room full of men, chances are most of them are taller than me or at least the same height. I’m probably on the lower end of “normal” or average. I think average U.S. male height is about 5’9” or so. I’m 5’7”(ish) barefoot.

Average U.S. male weight is about 190 lbs. I’m maybe 150-something. I don’t have a scale at home.

So I’m not tiny, but I’m smaller guy.

Interestingly, women who are larger may have this whole body image problem arise from society’s teaching them that women are supposed to look a certain way, be a certain size. Well, I think men who are smaller have a similar problem—especially as adolescents—in that society also teaches that men are supposed to be big and strong and muscular.

Anyway...I’m also on the smaller end of average in penis size. While I haven’t spent tons of time in locker rooms or communal showers, and I’ve never been to a nudist resort or beach, I’ve seen a few penises in real life. And there are tons of them online. The average penis size is something 5-6 inches erect (3.5 inches when flaccid). I am... small but “normal”. (I suppose if you really want to know those measurements, you can ask.)

So, what is the deal with these people all finding my penis “impressive”? If you look at all at porn with penises (i.e., not just nude women) you’ll find much larger and thicker penises than mine.

I’m not upset about it—my penis size. It’s fine. It is what it is. I’m much more concerned that eventually my penis won’t “work” as well or at all. You know, sexually. And that I have wasted and continue to waste many of the good years not using it...at least not with anyone else.

(Sigh.) Oh well.

Actually, I rather like my penis—the way it looks.

I have a friend who, when I asked for feedback on my blog, said that I have a nice penis. It wasn’t what I was expecting or even the sort of feedback I was looking for, but it was great to hear. Of course, I’m used to the way it looks, as I’ve lived with it all my life. But I’ve seen some unattractive penises out there in porn-land: scary, aggressive-looking or oddly shaped penises. Maybe that’ll be a blog entry sometime: different penis “personalities”.

I have posted some pictures on the blog where I’m (yes, I’ll say it) erect. Hopefully, those aren’t too porn-ish. I don’t want this blog to be porn-ish. I don’t really have a problem with (most) porn. But that’s not what I’m doing.

There was a recent entry which was mostly erect or semi-erect penis pics. I assume that entry prompted the recent “impressive” comments. Now, I haven’t spent a ton of time with penises other than my own and certainly not erect ones, so I don’t know what my viewers are comparing me to. But when I look at those pictures I see a penis which isn’t really that big. I can’t help but wonder if maybe it’s the lighting or the angle or a background/foreground issue that makes these folks (or you folks, if you’re one of them) have that impression. OR, maybe they (you) are focusing mostly on just the penis and not really picking up on size/scale clues.

Perhaps they want to say something, but don’t know what to say. They want to be complimentary, say something nice because they like the blog. But they’re just not accustomed to having a conversation about someone being naked. How often do most people have conversations about being naked?

(If you’re one of the folks I’m talking about, feel free to chime in. Or if you’re not, feel free as well.)

Maybe there’s some other psychological thing involved. Perhaps the fact that these people at least sort of know me makes it more shocking to see these pictures of me naked than it would to see a stranger.

Wow! I know him! And he’s naked! There’s his penis...and it’s still there. Yep, right out in the open. Not hidden or obscured. Oh! And there’s a picture that’s just his penis... Penis. Penis! PENIS! AAAAHHH!

So maybe the psychological impact is greater because they (you) know me. And the penis seems bigger in the brain than on the page (or in real life).

The way we perceive external stimuli can be greatly influenced by stuff going on inside our head. There may be things we thought we saw or heard, etc, but which didn’t actually happen that way. And there may be things that we saw, heard, experienced, whatever, but which for various reasons we are unable to handle; so our brains put it elsewhere and we don’t remember. Or, there may even be a situation where we experience something so far out of our point of reference—something that seems impossible to our brain—that it either doesn’t exist for us or we turn it into something else that makes sense.

So if those things can happen, then I, having studied psychology (some), am inclined to believe that something psychological is happening when someone views my blog and thinks my penis is “impressive”. 

3 month-iversay (+1 day)

Yesterday was the 3 month-iversary of this blog.

3 months

149 posts

≈5,919 views

64 un-friends

Well, I think the trends from a month ago are continuing:

less views than in the first month or so;

still very few comments from those who are viewing;

I think, in general, people are communicating with me less, or ignoring my comments on the facebook— maybe it’s just my imagination, but that’s how it seems.

Lately I’m finding motivation to be an issue. I’ve done less writing lately and more pictures. It’s like I just feel like putting forth the effort. I suppose I’m depressed.

I do tend to get sort of depressed this time of year. I don’t know if the shorter days have any real effect. I’m not working at all right now during winter break, and not doing much of anything, really, except sitting around all day watching stuff on the netflix.

My ankle is still a little troubled, although it still seems to be getting better. Maybe I’ll start exercising. A few days ago I really wanted to go for a walk, but the ankle was just too sore. And I’m sure if I would start writing something else—a script—I’d feel better too.

I’ve never been good at inventing things to do to keep busy, just like I have trouble going to bed at a decent hour when I know I don’t have a reason to get up in the morning. I’m not good at fooling myself, or at least fooling myself on purpose. I’m sure I lie to myself about some things, like everybody else. But I really try not to.

Well, if there’s anybody around who’s actually reading this and wants to do something—you know, something free or super-cheap—let me know. I could really use a reason to get off the couch.

Bad Blog?

I was thinking about taking a little “naked tour” this winter, in the break between semesters. My parents were wanting me to come visit for Christmas.

yeah,  yeah...ho ho ho, whatever

I don’t go “home” much. It’s not home. My parents moved there 5 or 10 years ago. I don’t know anyone else there. And I’m just not that close to them.

Well, I thought I might visit them for a few days, so they’ll stop bugging me for a bit. And while I’m out and about, I’d visit several other friends too. Specifically people who would be okay with my being naked, and hopefully would be okay with my taking a few pictures for the blog. Nothing so specific that would identify them or their house...unless they were cool with that. They could get naked with me, or just pose clothed with me naked. Or not. I wouldn’t want to pressure anybody.

Anyway, I’m not gonna do that now. I feel like I need to stay here. Another holiday holed up alone somewhere.

For one thing, I’m kinda broke. Not desperately broke...yet. I haven’t gotten enough work this whole year—several years actually. And some of the work I’ve been doing, I’ve put much more effort into than I’m getting compensated for.

The other thing is that I need to do some writing. I haven’t been writing lately. I was planning to, expecting to do some work on a couple of scripts this fall. But it seems that doing this blog every day is diverting my daily creative impulse. When I’ve written a blog or taken a bunch of pictures and selected, edited, whatever, then I don’t feel much like working on a script.

I need to figure out how to do both without one or both suffering.

I got nothin'

I’m open to suggestions. Fear not, suggest away.

Anyway, no “naked tour” now. Maybe in the spring? Or summer? That’d be more comfortable anyway. And if you’re interested in my “naked visiting” you sometime, let me know. Invite me. 

Stuttgart Alcina (or, naked opera 2)

Georg Friedrich Händel

I actually don’t really know anything about this opera.

Alcina (by Haendel)

Nor about this production.

Staatsoper Stuttgart 1999

But in researching the topic of nudity in opera, I came upon this video.

I’m not sure if this counts as onstage nudity or if it’s a wardrobe malfunction, but considering the dress (which is kinda awesome) it’s either the former or the later just waiting to happen.

Catherine Naglestad “Ah, mio cor”

An issue I have with this particular video is that, given the explicit sexiness of that black dress, I don’t really buy the fact that the “boy” is a boy.

Yeah, pants roles (female singers playing young male characters) are a traditional operatic convention. But I often have difficulty turning off the part of my brain that says “that’s a woman”. And in this case, it’s even worse. I think the fact of seeing breasts onstage makes me all the more aware of the breasts on that “boy”.

Another point about this video: I’m not sure how I feel about the contemporary look and feel of an older opera, one which has the sound and feel of an older opera. Maybe it’s just the harpsichord, but for whatever reason, the visual doesn’t match the aural. I don’t mind a director’s changing the setting, nor doing a sort of minimal set, etc production, nor even something more surreal and eclectic—if it works. I suppose even changing the time period would be okay in some cases. But if it sounds old, putting it in a modern-looking and modern-feeling setting seems odd to me.

I don’t seem to have any problem with taking it in the opposite direction: for example the musical Les Miserables is set in revolutionary France in the early 1800s, yet the music is contemporary pop-ish musical theatre. I’m fine with that. And of course, I’ve seen productions and movies of Shakespeare plays that put the action in a more contemporary setting. Some were effective, some weren’t. There’s a great film of Richard III set in 1930s England. I think it works quite well.

So what’s the difference? I don’t know.

Anyway...my original point was: here’s an opera production that fits what a friend of mine was talking about when she said “More graphic nudity, sex, violence is definitely a trend in opera. I think it's trying to appeal to our dulled senses.”

If you’re interested, here’s my first naked opera entry:

“Strauss & 7 Veils”

Pineapple Muffins

So, they came out pretty well. I’m glad I don’t have to title this “muffin fail”.

They look suspiciously cornbread-ish.

And they’re a little too moist...slightly gummy, even.

They’re not bad. Not amazing or anything, but tasty. Just too much liquid in the mix. Next time I’ll try pineapple chunks, not crushed pineapple.

Sigourney

During my second semester in college I had a English professor who one day in class somehow got on the topic of Sigourney Weaver being naked at the end of Alien. It was kinda awkward.

I hadn’t seen the movie at that point, although I had seen the sequel, Aliens.

Anyway, this professor was going on and on about it. It started with how her nudity represents vulnerability, and how it makes the moment that much more suspenseful, etc. And then he ended up talking about how Sigourney Weaver was a beautiful example of womanhood.

That was the awkward part. I mean, if he had started drooling and giggling uncontrollably, it wouldn’t’ve seemed out of place, ya know. Well, maybe out of place in the classroom, but not in his bit about Sigourney.

So, here’s the scene.

The thing is, she’s never actually naked.

Sometime later, when I actually did watch the film, I was disappointed. Thanks to this professor, I was expecting a naked Sigourney Weaver at the end of the film. In my disappointment, I didn’t think the moment was about creating more suspense; I thought it was about how the studio wouldn’t pay what she was asking to go topless.

Oh well, she’s naked in some other movies, or at least topless. So, I got over the disappointment.

So now, thinking back, the professor made a valid point...two, actually. A character facing some danger while unclothed, or, perhaps, scantily clad, might be more suspenseful. While clothing itself may not be heavy enough to provide substantial protection from some alien monster or whatever other threat one might face, being uncovered, all that skin, would probably make one feel exposed, vulnerable. 

AND, Sigourney Weaver is a beautiful example of womanhood.

Of course, in my freshman year of college, I wasn’t able to truly appreciate either point. To me, then, it was: naked lady??? Yes, please!!! But, Sigourney Weaver? Eh...she’s a little old isn’t she?

Yeah, I was kinda stupid. As I have matured, so have both my understanding that nudity isn’t just a sex thing, and my feeling that Sigourney Weaver isn’t too old. She’s still hot.

Well, okay...she’s clearly had a bit of work done here.

Stripping Away

A couple of weeks ago I heard a voice teacher say something about “stripping away”. She was referring to getting rid of extra “things” a singer might do. No adding unnecessary color, not imitating other singers, not “fake” produced vibrato. Just getting to the real voice.  In the case of this one singer, a mezzo, it resulted in a younger, clearer sound. It was good.

Well, it reminded me of something I’ve been dealing with for several years. Stripping away things I don’t need in life. Material things. Possessions.

I’ve moved a lot in my life. Since college, I’ve lived in 20 or 30 different places. And I’ve moved a bunch of things with me. But around 7 or so years ago, I started wondering why move all that stuff. I’d started thinking I was gonna move to New York City, and didn’t want to take a lot of stuff with me. So, I started getting rid of things.

It started with books. I used to have a fair number, a bookshelf full, of books. Most I’d read before. I didn’t keep all the books I’d ever had, but I did tend to keep the ones I’d liked. It wasn’t that I expected to ever read them again, but they felt important to me. I connected in some small way to them. There were also some that I’d take off the shelf and open up from time to time: art books, reference books, things I might quote from—Shakespeare, Alice in Wonderland—whatever.

So I did a culling. That first time wasn’t easy. Some of those books I’d had since college. It wasn’t like they were a part of me, but they were sort of part of the process of my becoming an adult, my intellectual maturity. But cull I did. I ended up getting some credit at Ed McKay’s and a bit of cash. That did help the process. A while later, I did another big culling. In that second one, I got rid of even more: the art books, reference books, a lot of plays and poetry. I got even more money that time.

Also around then, I started selling my CDs. Some of that stuff I’d put on my computer, and some I hadn’t. But I decided I didn’t really need to keep carrying around that much music. If I needed a particular recording, I figured I could always find it somewhere. 

So, I still have a bunch of stuff. Probably more than I need. I’ve a few boxes in my parents’ basement, and even more boxes in the basement of this woman who I used to be friends with. That’s a little awkward, actually. She might still consider us friends, but we don’t talk anymore and haven’t interacted with each other since I moved back here, except the one time she met me at her place to let me in to get a few things from her basement. She never actually ended the friendship, or whatever, but her best friend was mad at me and won't talk to me, so... 

Maybe I’ll blog about that sometime.

Anyway...”stripping away”.

Today is “Black Friday”. Biggest shopping day of the year, lots of sales, people lining up early to get into stores, blah blah blah.

It’s the start of the big commercial Christmas push.

I fucking hate it.

The whole thing pisses me off. It’s like our culture yelling at us to not give up on the whole thing of buying shit. Buy shit! Buy shit! Lots of shit! “Don’t think about it, just think it” as a friend of mine once put it. She was talking about religion, but it’s the same thing. 

“The latest version of whatever is about to come out. Be the first to get it; don’t let your friends beat you to it; you don’t wanna be out the loop.”

Ug.

We don’t need that much stuff to be happy. We need some things: a place to live and adequate sustenance. Beyond that it’s extra, right? Sure there’s a lot of stuff that we consider “necessities”. And yes, to carry on a “normal” contemporary life, you need a phone, probably some kind of internet access—even if it’s at the library—and some way to get around where & when you need to. But there’s certainly an argument to be made that this isn’t the best or even a healthy way to live. Certainly not healthy for the planet.

I think the more important things are non-tangible. We need love, respect, security...people. Family, friends, whatever—a group, our people, a community. Otherwise you get depressed and shit. You need to feel a sense of belonging. Trust me, when you don’t have that, life sucks, no matter how much stuff you have.

Stripping away can help you figure out what’s actually important.

movie poster

I'm thinking about going to see a movie later today. Well, tonight. I looked to see what's playing around here.
Jack and Jill, J Edgar, Puss in Boots...those I've heard of, but not these movies. And there's The Muppets, which I'm not sure I'm in the mood for, and Twilight-whatever, not gonna happen.
And then there's a bunch of others which I don't recognize the names of at all. I'm a bit out the loop of current pop culture, as I don't have a TV & I haven't been to see a movie since maybe this summer.

So I'm just not that eager to go see any of them. I mean, I found something at the cheap $1(!) cinema.

What those movies I've never heard of need is something to immediately grab my attention. Something like this:

It's a poster for the new The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo in English. Now, I'm probably not going to see that film. I saw the version in Danish or Swedish or whatever. And a friend recommended the book as being better than that film. I happened upon a cheap copy of the book at a thrift store a month ago, so it's sitting on my shelf to get to eventually.

But otherwise, that poster would definitely get my attention. Would bare breasts alone get me into  a theater? I don't know. I guess it depends on my mood when I happened to see it.

I did see Showgirls when it came out, not because of any hope I might have for the story, etc, but because of the "scandalous" NC-17 rating thing. There was a great little theater, The Capri, where I lived then that showed films you wouldn't see elsewhere in that area: art films, older films, foreign films, small independent films, occasionally older films. Well, I don't think anyone else in town was willing to show Showgirls, so this theater did. They had one screen, and normally played one film, 1 or 2 showings a night for a week. Well, they held over Showgirls for 2 extra weeks, and it was the huge money-maker for the year. People wanted to see naked ladies.

I know it was not a great movie, however I liked it. It was hilariously bad. Years later VH1 aired it--a lot--with those computerized bikinis covering all the breasts and genitalia, which sort of added to the ridiculousness of it.

Th’giving

Last night I saw somebody’s facebook status about how she likes to occasionally make a list of 50 things she’s thankful for and then compare to see how it changes, and that it makes her feel good. Lots of people are posting today about thankfulness. Is anybody on the facebook NOT posting something about Thanksgiving?

I’m not really a big holiday person. And, to be honest, I’m generally dissatisfied in life these days. So, the thankfulness thing is really hard for me to get into. I’m not sure if I could come up with 50 things. But I thought I’d at least give it a try. Not 50 things, but a list. So, what am I thankful for?

—I’m not starving, or totally broke...yet. Of course I’m not working nearly enough, which kinda sucks. There just seems to be too many people around here who do what I do. I don’t know how good they all are, but I suspect the people doing the hiring may not necessarily be able to tell the difference between adequate and good. I am working a little. I’m thinking I may look elsewhere & move next year.

—Up until this point, I’ve been able to make a living doing what I want to do. Unfortunately, I’ve mostly not been able to do it at the level I really want, but I have sometimes been able to work with people who were really awesome and done some work that I was really happy with. And of course, there’s all the other work that doesn’t quite fit into that category.

—I live somewhere that I can indulge my clothing-optional lifestyle. I don’t feel oppressed about it. I mean, I’ve lost “friends” and, maybe I’m wrong here, but some other people seem to be avoiding/ignoring me. I’d much rather people engage than avoid, but at least I’m not being oppressed. And I haven’t been arrested or anything yet.

—I’m not in great shape, but I’m alright. I’m not sickly or anything. There was something wrong with my knee this summer, but they didn’t have to do surgery or anything. It still gives me problems a little, but I’m thankful it’s not worse.

—Along those line, my penis still works. I mean, I’m not 20 anymore, but with a little work...

Tripdytch

Yep, still works, despite not having anyone to “work it” with.

—Well, that leads me to this: most people around here are gone for a few days, so I felt pretty comfortable taking some pics outside yesterday and today—a little more than I might normally. I’ll post those a bit later, as I’m hoping to take a couple more.

I’m sure there must be other stuff. I’ll think on it later. But as you can see, I have a hard time being thankful without a “however”...unconditional gratitude is hard. 

I wonder if other (“normal”) people feel the way I do, but they just don't vocalize it. Of course, I do. I’m not one to refrain from saying what I think or feel.

...

Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving...what else to say about Thanksgiving?

Well, there will be little or no “dressing” at my place today. Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha! I’m hilarious.But, yeah, I'm "celebrating" a naked Thanksgiving. I mean, I'm not really celebrating in any special way. But I'm naked. No big surprise.

Okay, what else?

Oh. There’s this strangeness:

Turkey-woman

It’s kind of funny, but also rather disturbing. I mean, the implication is that the woman is a thing to be consumed. Also there’s the whole bondage thing. I mean, this looks like serious bondage, which I’m not super-keen on.

...

Well, I’m not coming up with much else. So, I’ll go back to just hanging out on “Turkey Day”.

pizza box

Domino’s pizza box lids piss me off lately.

We’re not Artisans...we’re just people who make something of supposedly high quality, by hand and using traditional methods...and who don’t know what “artisan” means.

ar·ti·san  /ˈɑrtəzən/    noun
1.  a person in an applied art; a craftsperson.2.  a person or company that makes a high-quality, distinctive product in small quantities, usually by hand and using traditional methods:
food artisan(from dictionary.reference.com)

What bothers me is that it seems to be playing to that whole “we're stupid and proud of it” mentality, which I hate. To acknowledge your ignorance may be admirable, but to run it up a pole and salute it is just contrary to everything I believe about information and knowledge and understanding.

There was another Domino’s box a while back that bothered me. “Pizzas rush in where burgers fear to tread.”

It’s part of their pizza proverbs “campaign”. Instead of paying someone to come up with a clever slogan, they’ve asked customers to submit “proverbs”. Well that particular one is iffy, I think.

The proverb it's based on is "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." So basically, they're saying pizza is foolish and hamburgers are angelic.

Oh yeah, there’s also this, from the pizza I got a few days ago:

It’s supposed to have the store manager’s signature there.

It doesn’t.

It’s supposed to show that they’re really taking responsibility for the quality, etc.

I guess they’re not.

Strauss & 7 Veils (or, naked opera 1)

(an excerpt from the score of Salome, by Richard Strauss)

I found this video a year or two ago while looking at opera stuff on youtube.

Maria Ewing in Salome (the opera by Richard Strauss) 

at the Royal Opera House, 1992

It’s the second half or so of the dance. If you’re interested, you can check out the whole thing:

Maria Ewing, Dance of the 7 Veils from Salome

This performance got me kinda curious, as it’s actually not horrible, and I started looking for other Salome’s dances. From the videos I found, when there’s actual nudity it’s usually for just the final second, before Salome collapses and some people rush around her and cover her with a cloak or something. I can’t seem to find many of those videos online now. Maybe someone felt embarrassed by the bad choreography and had them removed.

Anyway, in the story this dance is supposed to be a seduction, part of a deal between Salome and her step-father, Herod.

(Hey kids, it’s bible-story time! Yay! ...seriously, the story comes from Mark, chapter 6)

He says if she dances for him, he’ll give her whatever she asks. Then she does this sexy dance and asks for the head of John the Baptist, who they have in the dungeon.

A major problem with the “Dance of the 7 Veils” is that it’s a lengthy (usually) solo dance for an opera singer. “Traditionally” opera has had a lot of stand-there-and-sing-and-look-dramatic type of performers. And I think it’s still often the case that opera singers aren’t necessarily great movers. There’s just not much emphasis on movement in their training, certainly less than in the training that actors, especially musical theatre actors, get.

So the “7 Veils” Dance often ends up being Salome running around a lot and acting “sensual” &/or distraught, taking off a “veil” or two, then more running and sensual/distraught-ess...maybe some slow “seductive” moves? Well, the full dance is about 9 minutes long. What the hell do you do with an opera singer for that long?

Tiziana Sojat as Salome (not sure where or when)

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you just have boring choreography, or a really bad “dancer” doing what might otherwise be decent choreography. Or maybe you just have a non-dancer doing bad choreography invented by a non-choreographer.

So, if you have a soprano who doesn’t really move well, and who isn’t okay with taking her clothes off, you’ve got a problem. Back in the day, a lot of your big sopranos were exactly that: big sopranos. And as a friend of mine said, “Who wants to see Joan Sutherland naked?”

Well, this ain’t Dame Sutherland, but I suppose it’s pretty much the same:

Montserrat Caballe as Salome, Teatro de la Zarzuela de Madrid, 1979

Supposedly, in the original production, the soprano Marie Wittich (pictured here:)

wouldn’t do the dance, so it was done by a dancer. That might actually be a preferable situation for many productions. Recently there’s been more of a sexification of opera, and you’re seeing a lot more attractive “big” singers these days. (I’ll write more on that soon.) So, of course, if you have a singer who can handle the music and can move well and isn’t shy about taking her clothes off in front of an audience, then, by all means, go for it.

Catherine Malfitano as Salome, Berlin, 1990 (with Horst Hiestermann as Herodes)

Save the Cheerleader!

Hayden Panettiere—

best known as Claire, the cheerleader...or maybe Claire the amazing healing chick...nah, Claire the Cheerleader it is— 

was at the MTV Europe Music Awards several days ago, presenting the award for best song. 

She was “interrupted” by a streaker.

(see the video here)

At first it was said by the streaker, etc, to be an unplanned prank. But soon it was admitted to have been planned, if not rehearsed, and that the guy is an actor who was hired by MTV.
Come on, people who believed it wasn't a planned thing. Do you really think some random naked dude would have gotten all the way out there onstage and "hung out" for a minute and a half chatting on camera with a presenter? No, he'd be dragged off by security. 

Apparently the writers or someone thought it would be a fun bit to have a streaker.

Now, it might be an interesting bit if there were something controversial in the news about Hayden Panettiere and nudity, or maybe a movie she’s in that has a streaker...but I couldn't find anything like that. Just a few contradictory comments by her about nudity and a brief implied nude scene in I Love You, Beth Cooper.

So, what was the point of the MTV streaker? I mean, hey, obviously I don’t have a problem with nudity, but seriously, it seemed to have no point. Just, hey, let’s have a naked dude out there...for no reason.

No reason at all...except maybe the “hey, let’s just throw in something crazy here”...you know, like Lady Gaga’s headgear.

Naked Therapy

Okay, so there’s this woman, Sarah White, who has a naked “therapy” practice.

From her website (http://sarahwhitelive.com/):

Freedom Through Arousal

“Naked Therapy is a form of talk therapy in which the therapist and/or the patient get naked in an environment in which arousal (physical, emotional and/or intellectual) is encouraged and utilized to arrive at unique self-discoveries.”

“Essentially, Naked Therapy is a form of talk therapy carried out between a patient and a therapist in which the therapist (usually) becomes naked in the course of the session, and this nakedness arouses the patient and allows the patient to dive into their arousal and discover things through that arousal.... During the Naked Therapy session the therapist and patient talk about what’s on the patient’s mind, just like in a psychotherapeutic setting, but in Naked Therapy the patient and therapist also engage in arousal-enhancing conversations and activities.”

There are 4 Naked Therapists on her team. They all live in different cities, and do web sessions with clients. But they all do live sessions as well, for a higher fee. And Sarah, for the right amount of money, will also go out with you for dinner or whatever for your session.

“If you’re that kind of man, I’d love to spend a night on the town with you, and we can talk about whatever’s on your mind.
Think of it as a ‘therapy date.’☺”

(Yes, there’s a smiley face on her website. Actually, several.)

And they’ll even consider traveling to meet you, assuming you pay.

So, here’s my thought process about this:

Uh, what? ...jesus, that’s ridiculous...yeah, this looks like porn...(then, after reading a bit) hm, still looks porn-ish, but she’s making some interesting points.

Clearly she’s done a lot of reading and apparently some writing; she’s not just a cute dumb girl making money by getting naked online. I mean, she is a cute girl making money by getting naked online. But I think this is a serious attempt at doing some good for some people. However, the visuals are kinda porn-ish, so part of me wants to shout “no! this can’t be real therapy.”

(I actually have a degree in psychology. When people find that out some will ask if I ever use it, the psychology. I say, of course...I work with singers & actors & dancers, and they’re all crazy.)

Anyway, I would feel better about this naked therapy if the therapists were licensed (they’re not), and if there were legit research and peer review on the practice (there's not). They do not accept insurance, probably because they’re not licensed.

From the website:

“All our Naked Therapists go through a year long training process. During that time, they are listed as Naked Therapists-in-Training. This involves a reading list of psychotherapeutic texts, response papers (which are posted on their blog), plus oversight by and session reviews with Sarah White. As for the educational background of our Naked Therapists, that differs widely but each was brought into the practice because she/he is skilled at talking, listening, and counseling while also being arousing ☺.”

But in a sense, it’s just some woman who thought this would be a good thing. And who convinced a few others to join her. Clearly this has sex industry elements. One of the of the therapists, in fact, is a former exotic dancer. This does seem rather like they are “sex-workers”—an ancient line of work, the practitioners of which could easily tell you that some clients just need someone to talk to. I used to know a woman who worked for one of those sexy-lady-voice telephone chat lines, and she said that a lot of the guys she talked to just liked having someone to talk to about stuff, someone other than family or friends. And that’s what a lot of therapy is, a client talking to a (supposedly) neutral set of ears—a set of ears attached to a knowledgeable and experienced brain that may help to guide the client to some understanding about him- or herself.

Anyway...

I guess I would also feel better about its legitimacy if it weren’t so blatantly geared toward enticement as a way of getting clients. This is the opening page of the website:

Many of the pictures on the website are very sexy model-type pics.

Here’s Sarah

Carli

Penelope

and Randy.

Well, of course they can get clients. Here’s how it works (apparently):

They start with web sessions—with either a one-way camera and IM chatting, or a two-way camera and actually talking—during which they discuss whatever the client wants and during which the therapist removes his or her clothes. The client may remove his (or her) clothes as well and may masturbate or whatever. That’s part of the point; it’s “arousal therapy”.

The idea is that during a state of arousal people—especially men—get into a different sort of mental state, which can be important for making psychological breakthroughs. Sarah White relates it to the importance of dreams, which, before Freud, weren’t considered psychologically revelatory. She seems to think that eventually arousal states will be more generally accepted for their value in this regard. Of course, she also freely admits that the whole naked lady thing is a way to get men, who, as a group, may be more reluctant, into therapy.

So the naked therapist uses arousal to get to the “good stuff”. Where Freudian psychoanalysis tries to access the unconscious to help the patient achieve a happier, healthier life, naked therapy tries to use the arousal state to help the patient achieve a happier, healthier life.

Now, if you’re a person who thinks that sex is supposed to be hidden and shameful and all that “civilized, Judeo-Islamo-Christian” crap, then I can’t imagine any argument convincing you that Naked Therapy has any psychologically legitimate use. Ironically, if that is the case, then you might be exactly the sort of person who would benefit from naked therapy. (For that matter, if you are such a person, why are you reading my naked blog? If you’re even looking at it, you’re probably just scanning this entry for more pictures of my penis. Sorry, not this one.)

So, I think this sort of therapy may be a decent idea. The naked thing is a tool. It may draw clients who would benefit from and who otherwise wouldn’t consider therapy. And it may help create in the mind of the client a sort of connection, an intimacy, allowing them to open up in ways they might not in traditional therapy. It may help the therapist and client access thoughts and feelings they would have trouble getting to. It could be a very effective tool.

But, again, I’m wary of the lack of advanced pysch degrees and lack of pysch establishment recognition. Of course, in itself, those things don’t mean that it’s not legit. I mean, tons of people can get licensed to do things that they are not any good at or may even cause harm by doing. 

And I’m also a little put off by the presentation, which, of course, may be exactly the sort of presentation they need to attract clients: people who are aroused by what they’re presenting; people who might be into the whole webcam porn, chatting with a naked woman (or man) type thing. And that’s not really me.
Also, they could lose the smiley faces from their website.

Silence is Deafening

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

–Mark Twain

I don’t know that Twain meant exactly this, but, to me right now, this is saying that clothed people either don’t take naked people seriously or they ignore them (us).

Is that it? Just two choices? Leer or avoid?

Well, I’m going to address the avoiders.

You can see what I mean here, toward the end of Erykah Badu’s “Window Seat” video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hVp47f5YZg

People see, react for a moment, or less than a moment—surprise, shock, dismay, whatever—then nothing; they turn away, or they stoically avoid reacting, or rather avoid showing any reaction.

But that in itself is a reaction. It’s also a sort of dismissal.

If you look at the “art school” definition of “nude” (I wrote a bit about this in “Nude vs. Naked") it’s a sort of presentation, a costume of sorts, or, yes, perhaps an objectification. It’s an invitation to view, to consider, to respond to the nude person. Or perhaps it’s a challenge. And avoidance of the nudity is a response of sorts. But it’s refusal to participate, a refusal to consider, to think, to be involved; it’s a rejection—a rejection of the invitation, of the challenge, and, ultimately, it is to some degree a rejection of the person or persons presenting the nudity.

In talking to a few people about this blog I’ve been trying to work out, to figure out and articulate, the reasons I started this.

Yes, it's a sort of “coming out”, but also I was hoping to prompt discussion, reaction, comment...something. But sometimes the silence is deafening. On the facebook, where I post links to the blog, a few people have responded on their own; some others I’ve asked for a response, and mostly gotten something. But some people don’t respond, even when asked directly. For example someone “liked” a (cropped) picture I posted on the facebook. I wrote and said “Hey you liked that picture. Thanks.” Her response was the she wished she were that brave. So, assuming that she at least was aware that the picture was from my blog, I asked if she had any feedback on the blog. And since then, nothing, even after I wrote again to say sorry if it was awkward or uncomfortable and feel free to change the subject. Still nothing.

Add to that the continuing loss of friends. Another sometime in the last 24 hours.

Deafening.
Sure, you might say that many people just don’t know how to respond to this blog. Well, to that I say bullshit. To that I say too many people just go through life trying to be safe.

When I was in college there was once a girl who I thought was really cute; I started chatting with her and after a little while I asked her out. She gave me some excuse that she couldn’t. It was a perfectly reasonable excuse, so I asked again—another reasonable excuse. Third time, same thing, so I asked if she was really that busy or if she just wasn’t interested, and if it was the latter, I just wished she say so. See, I wanted to believe that she was telling the truth. I would’ve told the truth. I’ve pretty-much always felt like this. Just say that you don’t want to go out with me, or hire me, work with me, whatever. I’d much rather you be clear and say what you mean. I can take rejection. I’ve certainly been rejected before and I expect to be rejected again. But I’d like to know, maybe even have the chance to ask if there’s some reason that would be helpful for me to know about for my own edification.

It turns out that girl in college was a lesbian. When I asked the third time, she told me. Okay. Fine. She could’ve said so the first time and saved us both the effort—of my coming up with a possible date idea and her coming up with a reasonable-sounding excuse. But I guess she was trying to be safe. She didn’t know how I might react to her being a lesbian.

So let me say, loudly: I’m not gonna yell or make fun of you for being a prude or feeling uncomfortable or perhaps having a job which you fear losing if my links to this blog show up on your facebook newsfeed. I respect directness and honesty. However, I might “call you out” for running away, unfriending me without a word.

Birthday soon

Yeah, my birthday is coming up...again. Right now I’m feeling about it the way I usually do.

So again, I’m taking my birthday off of the facebook to avoid the onslaught of “casual” birthday wishes. If you don’t know what I mean, read my blog from about a year ago: http://christilley.blogspot.com/2010/10/birthday-schmirthday.html

Last year there were people who read the blog, knew that I didn’t want casual birthday wishes, and referred to that fact in their casual birthday wish post on my wall on the facebook.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Well, here’s an analogy to explain how I feel about that.
(Yes, I know this particular analogy may offend some people. Offense is not my intent. My intent is, rather, to communicate my point in such a way that people will really get it. If you are offended, sorry. But I’m not gonna lose sleep over it.)

So, you post a casual birthday wish when I’ve stated that I don’t want it. Maybe you do it anyway because you really, really mean it.

But that’s like a man casually groping some unwilling girl who’s said she doesn’t like it. I mean, you sort of expect that some relative may to do it. They’re family, what are you gonna do?

And then there's the guy who does it anyway because he really, really wants to grope her. He likely thinks— you know, if he's thinking at all— that deep down she really wants it as much as he does. Dude, she doesn’t.

Instead of the casual grope, why not take her out, buy her flowers, have dinner & conversation, ask her what she really wants in life and share your own hopes & dreams & fears. If you make her feel special, then she might not mind so much your groping her. In fact, she might want it then, and really enjoy it, and grope you back.

Naked woman in horse

A friend of mine posted this on my facebook wall, thinking I might be interested. I was.

Seattle Weekly article ...with pictures

An “aspiring model” (she has a profile on some modeling site) in Portland, Oregon, along with a friend, bought an old horse, killed it, gutted and skinned it, and took some pictures of her inside the carcass. Later they ate the horse.

Okay, so you may think, "Ew." Yeah, I thought that too, but mostly I thought it’s just odd. The police investigated, but it seems that no laws were broken. She posted the pics online, and then claimed to have “no idea why people care.” Apparently she wanted to “be one with the animal” and was inspired by Star Wars.

Yay, Star Wars! But I don't think she's a huge fan or anything.
I think, as she is an “aspiring model”, (her model profile) that she’s just hoping to jumpstart her modeling career.

Well, of course, lots of people are outraged. The comments on the article fall into the 3 typical categories of comments on anything surprising &/or unusual:

1. This is sick and twisted; we hate her; she’s a horrible, horrible person OR she so ca-ra-zee.
2. What about all the other animals that are routinely slaughtered for us to eat? (This response on some other topic could be “what about all the starving people...the uninsured...victims of abuse...global warming...whatever”.)
3. OMG, she’s HOT, I wanna hit dat.

Comments on others people’s comments also fall into those same categories, with one additional group: your so dum sombody should get rid of you to; often followed by another comment pointing out the ironic misspellings, lack of punctuation and other grammatical errors. Yes, poor writing bothers me, and I occasional stifle my own grammar-nazi impulse. Because just calling someone stupid or pointing out grammar issues does not really add anything truly useful to the discussion. 

Probably my favorite comment, one which I might’ve made if I were paying more attention when I first skimmed though the article, was to point out a mistake in the Star Wars reference.

"I am so disgusted! This article is SO WRONG!
Han Solo did not use HIS light saber.  He used Luke's.  Get your story straight!"

Sci-fi nerds are hilarious, and yes, I mean me too.

“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hm?”